Wednesday 7 October 2015

Hung by the revelation…

contours of  my face…
infinite blankness..
nihilism till the next birth….
fake affection…
many a tear of spliced treachery…
but my oxygen still flows…
in spite of being hung …
by the meanest of revelations..


Cold words…
political correctness….
both hands talk..
with nothing concrete to ever say…
de sensitized to plight…
with on goings mechanical…
still waiting for the messiah…
with rotten hearts..
and tags endless…
yet the supply of hatred never stops..
despite being hung..
by the cruellest of revelations…

Syntax of ecstasy..
states of inconsideration…
blinds constantly stingy …
day and night mutually inedible…
with so much weight to shoulder…
no discussion…
no tension released….
everything now seems to rush pat me…
without any forbearance..
or the slightest hint of peace….
lost it seems..
my heart..
like a dot on a map of impenetrable victors…
yet the supply of hurt never ever ceases…
in spite of my best efforts ..
in getting thy nature admonished and punished
hung by the bluntest of intentions..
and the broadest of aims…


                 Sleep Deprivation…

overdose of paracetamol..
still some debts left to redeem…
overdose of nature..
still some whispers left to complete…
yet despite all my earnest prayers …
i can’t deprive my tired nerves…
of some moments of chained sleep…
sleep deprivation it seems..
will never be admissible…
in such a case of an …
scarred and restrained…
fighter of love …
and honest justice…


seconds pass by…
nothing left to hear…
nothing ever given..
to seep in or seek through..
for some definite answers….
with only moons in attendance…
everyday..
day after day…
moment after moment ..
to be unmoved audiences…
to my scalding conflicts..
of perceptions..
and existences….
yet thou dragons of infantile drowsiness..
would strike whenever possible..
to divert thy soul away…
from delicate matters of the unrepentant skin..
it's like a sword shiny..
forged from the deepest cusses of the destitute..
\to slay my ever conscious angel of ..
fulfilled antagonisms…
it seems sleep deprivation ..
is not allocated in my quota of happiness…
one must after all fall unconscious..
after bitter wars..
and unconquered roses..

the routine goes on…
absolution can’t be delayed..
maybe i will walk past cancer next..
with libra not so palatable…
to my unpredictable mood swings…
yet i want to break free…
and let everything around me explode…
useless distinctions..
abrasive diversity….
but thoughts are no longer allowed to be aired now…
everyone expected to fall asleep ..
in a devious placebo….
of confounding trances…
drugged and unconscious forever..
from the pain of empowered liberation….
and so my destiny has already be written..
as it stands now…
i am expected to lead my life…
into realms of unfavourable delusions…
with no sleep deprivation ever in sight..
to interrupt this stealthy prison…
of karmic dreams…
and sane behaviour…

                 why not be unhealthy….?

why must everything be prevented..?
why should everyone be so accommodative…?
why must we all be denied the pleasures of irrationality..
and the fruits of splendid sickness…
why must we always be healthy..
just to satisfy the insurer's ..
and the keepers of the status quo..
when anyway millions will die…
due to systemic oppression..
ordained by walls and verses…

why all this censoring..
why so much detection…
why long lines for searches..?
and thick walls for preemption…
why so much enforced sweetness..
that even sulphuric acid gets defeated for corruption..
why so much good will..?
when we all know..
that marble and crosses matter more than..
naked memories..
why so many prohibitions..
and gloated advisories..?
when we all know..
that true peace…
or a deep kiss..
is not the fate..
of us dogmatic..
sun scalded…
“green” humans…

this is why i hate..
this new tolerance..
this rushed acceptance…
for it never brings to life..
the actual issues..
and the root causes…
it’s all good to talk about nicotine..
but why not substitute it with blessed leaves…
it's all awesome to talk about diversity…
but why not be united ..
by blood and heart…?
it's magical to talk about equality..
but why discriminate in the first place itself..?
it’s enlightening to talk about fitness…
but why not still utilize the services of a doctor..
both on ground and above space…?
it’s good to not be consumerist…
but why not desire..
for more resources..
and newer feelings..?
it’s good to be grounded…
but why not just for once…
try to really reach for the
beautifully fairies partying above..
the celestial Ibiza …
of a trillion cosmic shadows..
of unconditional love..?
instead of being healthy and tempered all the time…
blind and obnoxious to all that genocide and beheading going all around..
only giving cautious bites of..
surreptitious advice..
why not try…
just for one time..
to evoke the hidden feelings of emotion…
and go full bonkers..
and totally insane..
and express ourselves without idiotic reservations ..
or ungrateful edits…
and bring about the freedom that we desire so much..
within our repressed echoes..
from all the Malthusian possibilities ..
and Keynesian limitations…
by just being beautifully sick…
and going without any check…
for the endless infinity…
of the ever alive dimensions..?
Trust the djinns..
and the miracles of Osiris…
it will be worth more than..
all those saved accounts..
of shallow experiences..

lets all be unhealthy..
and out of control..
just for one last time..
to save our common humanity..
from sheer chaos..
of stifling stigmas..
and dogmas..
ruthlessly enforced…


               Abeyance..


straddled between Gothic magnificence..
and strung fences of a society convoluted…
my voices get lost…
in the holes of ceaseless chasm..
and within the compromises…
of merciless abeyance…
everything measured and budgeted…
with only a show..
of acting…
to express out all your disgust..
with an order obsessed…
with limiting your soul..
with the placed conviction…
of sanctimonious goodness…


straddled between glossy mannequins..
and uncomfortable propositions…
choked by the climax of …
demands tailored…
and unrealistic considerations of bonds hollow…
and victories untasted..
lies somewhere my dreams in onerous abeyance…
it is as if every living instant..
of my counted inhalations…
i have to follow the laws..
of enforced conformity…
and be attached to labels unrelated….
it is as if…
every time my concerns and wishes ..
are meant to lose out to the sheer weight…
of relentless misery and innumerable prescriptions…
i also have a lump in my air tubes…
nurtured by silences of smoke and chemicals treasured…
i also feel the sharp bluntness..
of torturous aloofness…
when i refuse to entertain my heart..
with intellectual debauchery ..
and comic games ..
of deceptive non acceptance…
and yet no one is ready…
in and around my  immediate conditions ..
of physical continuance…
to accept the true voices of rebellion..
so i lie in mournful silence…
entombed within tonnes of fashionable nonsense…
lies my revolt scathing…
in eternal abeyance…
shamed by deceitful pimps…
and dishonest saints…
forbidden to speak up on behalf..
of the wrongly framed Judas….

straddled between the tall buildings made out of bribes and notes stained..
and flags and lines of division …
borders of extermination…
moats where creativity inevitably gets shot at..
into pools of lost realities..
or drowned into ….
churns of repressive vacuum
of entrenched censure…
sloganeering goes on full blast…
votes are to be given soon…
as dictated by the unemployed boy…
who wields the deliverer of unapologetic bullets ..
and somewhere amidst all this carnival…
of sudden disappearances…
and praised creatures of the days….
and the din of unanswered statuses…
lies my tiny but significant universes…
of possibilities billion…
in love and in pleasure….
lying dazed….
coerced to intrinsic coma…
cornered by the wolves of..
whimsical “ morality”...
taken down by the youth…
of gratuitous depravity…
in abeyance to pure rationale…
in memoriam to spontaneous smiles….
denied rights to  absolute bliss…
appeals rejected for relative….
impressions…
is is as if…..
patience is no longer a virtue wise..
but a weapon of the lopsided majority…
to quash away all my desires…
and burn up all my lust..
turning me into a machine …
a faithful slave to texts and thoughts archaic…
a loyal soldier to decorums of boundless oppression….
and with this ignoble condition imposed..
on the movement of every tiny cell..
of my body…
and on the reaction of the minutest neuron..
of my pretty insignificant conscience…
and calmness implemented deliberately…
with hasty and clinical pacification..
of all my thinking faculties…
i carry on…
with only some alphabets and letters …
inadvertently construed …
and words of imagination …
figuratively constructed…
to vent away my injustices…
and to forever forget…
my cursed past..
and my to be sentenced future….
forever in abeyance ….
all my needs…
to communicate ..
and to feel ..
even if it  is for some nano instance …
the energies of unstructured happiness…

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