jingles of note….Whispers of barren ash..

the negativity cringes..
the dreaded hour of going home..
escape from my bubble..
gradual release from hope…
the moon hides behind the accursed shadows..
half eaten…
merely alive…
on the tender mercies of the punishing throne…

far away….
behind the much hated waves..
lies my worth beautiful…
far away…
beyond those walls of deceptive gore..
lies a smile without ever any consequence…
but until then…
only whispers made by breaths decaying…
and pain inflicted by ashes stubborn..
are my august relief…
from choking bore…
accompanied by the zillion trumpets ..
of jugging coins..
and ruffled notes…




I was not perceived like this..
i didn’t appear because of my own volition…
terrible traditions..
grave mistakes…
made my conception so random..
made my initiation so unfortunate…
and circumstances…
and pain ..
pain of being ignored..
pain of being bored in..
by a million sharp eyes..
like claws of an iron door..
pain of being left out…
pain of being left all alone….
such overwhelming pain..
turned my nerves already afflicted by
whims of genes gone astray…
became pulp..
pulp like fiction..
pulp like miles of blood dried under a ruthless winter..
pulp like molten lava..
coming out from Gaia’s scarred wounds…
and since then i have no peace..
no love…
no touch..
no kiss…
only endless promises..
lots of absentia..
lots of insult..
 and lots of  beguiling daydreams…

i am not bad…
 i would never hurt anyone..
i wouldn't even know how to kill a ant…
i would prefer to be lost..
in the realms of the inked infinite…
but reading was a sin  they said…
a nerdy disaster they opined…
notes they wanted..
not of wisdom..
but of values varied….
cheap entertainment..
free of cost circus…
and the end of it all..
came out only thy soul..
with lots of thy angst..
and boundless volumes of unmoderated hatred…
so now i tend to shuffle between realities..
like the best Ipod ever made…
a world of peace..
with some luxuries of money..
and a reality of banality..
with some pleasures from money…
it is not for nothing when one can honestly opine…
that my favorite secrets..
are revealed by the smothering ashes..
of a contagious crime..
and the sweet raw and non judgemental…
of passive coins..
and expressive notes with values divine…

i am not a human of bile..
i only like logic to triumph..
and smiles to eternally shine…
i want everyone to be happy..
all wars to be solved once and for all..
i want to ride around the whole universe..
i want to feel and live in realms distant and sacredly enshrined…
i am not a monster..
i am not a mistake of my own premonitions..
i don’t see ghosts in the dark..
nor do i find death forbidding..
the dead terrifying…
it’s just that..
when one feels lost out..
with the surrounding reality…
like a blunt piece of blue…
jutting out amongst the milky white…
when one feels not just odd..
but caged by such oddness..
refusing to follow the norms..
of exploitation and repression sophisticated..
not willing at all to tag up people ..
in the name of sex or caste or religion…
but rather always ready to tag up the clothes..
that i adorn thyself and others..
or the food that i relish..
with all my spirit and concentration..
i am not obliged to discriminate..
because of someone’s tastes,desires or anatomy..
but i love to discriminate on myself…
in what i watch and what i indulge in…
be it absinth or lots of lust unconfined..

yes i admit..
with brutal honesty..
and blunt vanity..
that i love the charm of the flashy coins..
and the silence of the notes much reviled…
and i embrace warmly the irreversible destruction
of the precious ashes..
on my body..
and on my life…
but i refuse to change..
and become a swine…
samaritan for some…
torturer for others..
for i want everyone to blissfully glide…
through seas infinite..
of mature whispers..
and intimate shadows…
not depriving anyone..
but always partying together..
always united..
in one sweet trance..
but you see that’s the problem..
that’s my alleged dyslexia..
that’s my alleged  schizophrenia…
that’s is the protest of everyone around..
against my conscience..
that i Value Estee Lauder..
or Giorgio Armani more..
than ripping apart the bellies of the untouchables..
those who lie below me…
according to unknown texts..
written in strange languages..
more than 2 millennia before
thy’s unrequited appearance…
into this rather exciting drama called life..
Or i refuse..
to be an engineer of coercive manipulation...
created by a zillion dollars of corruption and bribes..
just so as to demand a trillion dollars of hell
from my future bride...arranged like a transaction..Of course…!!
so as one can consider..
as it is more clear than the sparkling bubbles..
from some of the most ethereal moments of the most precious sunshine…
that i am being thrown here and there..
in my physical and emotional reality..
like a tug of ball…
being dissected apart slowly..
by forces cunning and revilled…
if such is the state of mu much precarious existence…
then it is often better ..at least my limited biased wisdom says so..
t0o take refuge in those worlds of my dreams..
where i am always happy..
surrounded by joys without any condition…
ever smiling as i dance along..
with the maidens of utopia….

yes i am  materialistic..
deviant..
passionate..
impulsive..
disorganized..
impatient..
a lover of the silky touches of ashes toxic…
and an appreciator of all those cherished melodies…
created by exquisite twinkles and tosses..
and invaluable churns and glides..
of values un summarized…
but i am not a creature..
that will ever shamelessly break countless hearts..
and destroy universes worth more than all the gems of the world..
so as to become normal..
so as to become..
“Much Hyped”....

my thoughts..